Everything is going great. Im so happy. We just had prom last friday, that was amazing, it was so much fun. Especially just being there with Ivan. All the stress is gone and I just can't wait until summer. Me and Ivan just celebrated our 6 months together!!  He is perfect and I love him so much. School is out I think June 8th and I've been trying to find a job, kind of. I just want something to do with my free time. Well I want to say I'm sorry for not communicating as much as I use to with everybody, who ever actually reads this. Thats it for the moment.

BIG Rae Rae

   Life is a constant struggle. Its like tug a war. I start to get one thing going good and something else turns bad. But hey, I guess thats just how it goes.

   School, is boring. Nothing interesting happens anymore, everyone just tries to get through the day. Hopefully with summer coming everything will get better. I try not to think about it too much though  because when summer ends, Ivan leaves :(  Yes, he'll be back on weekends, but I am selfish. I see him everyday and I don't want to give that up. With him leaving, I get nervous. Just knowing he is going to meet so many other people, I don't want to be someone he used to know. But it's good for him and I do want him to go so he can become something better of himself. I don't know, I'm just going to miss him. ALOT. But it's for the best. haha....I try to convince myself.

   At home is a nightmare right now. Kyle went to Flordia and I think me and my mom are just getting sick of each other. She's going next weekend so that'll be a nice week. Everything is just bothering her and she yells constantly sometimes I don't think she means to but she does anyway.

   Besides everything negative I have said, everything is going ok. Nothing that bad as happened so I should be happy.

I'm just not.

Everything is everything. School is good, family is normal, my relationship is good, but Im missing one thing, my friends. I don't understand why Im put into a situation where I must choose. People say that I really don't have to choose between the two, but I do. At one time or another, you have to choose between your friends and your partner. It seems dumb and childish but theres going to be a point when your friends or partner both want to spend time with you and you must pick one. Unless your extremely lucky and you have a partner thats friends with your friends. I use to spend almost everyday with at least one friend and once you find someone that you want to devote all of your time too, that everyday you spent with your friends now turns to a couple hours a week. I am truely sorry things have gotten between us like they have and now I think I've dug a hole too deep to try and redeem myself with them.

    My vacation is coming to an end. School tomorrow and Im not looking foward to it. The break was a good getaway though, I really needed it. I spent most of my time with my Ivan who I love soo much. My birthday was the best, thank you guys a lot, Christmas was nice too, my brother was home and everything was chaotic. He's always so busy and comes home at 4 in the morning but I liked him home and now hes in Texas for 10months or so. New Years was fun, I wasn't alone. haha Hung out with Ivan and Clifford. I can't believe just how much I've fallen for him, it's almost started to scare me..I just want to spend every second with him and so much more. :) But its ok with me

Well I hope everybody had a great break and now we're forced back to our prison of education. For a month or so more until spring break! haha

Happy New Year! ! !